Totally crone

In actual fact human age is not in the mind but in the heart. As long as you are healthy no matter what age you are you can feel happy traveling. Do you know why I am writing these sentences? Because on Friday, Jan. 2, 2009, I was driving from Teşvikiye to Ataşehir. Just as I was passing from in front of the İnönü Stadium down to Dolmabahçe I noticed a bus full of Japanese women tourists. It had taken me four hours to reach Ataşehir from Teşvikiye. Most probably they too had to sit in the bus more than four hours and forgetting about the beauties of İstanbul went slowly out of their minds.

Years ago I had broken my own record of crossing from the European side to the Anatolian side which was four hours. But then the city was stranded in piles of snow. This time there was no snow. Streets were empty after the New Year’s Eve celebrations. But both bridges were jammed for no reason at all. Sitting in the car and thinking about the people who are waiting for you at home can slightly drive you crazy. At least thanks to cell phones. People are gossiping about the reason of these traffic jams in Istanbul. It is said that mobile phone operators are jamming the traffic so that they will gain more money. Of course this is a joke and I’m sure you didn’t believe it. But I cannot believe what is happening in this city. But in the end I realized that I forgot certain realities of Istanbul staying away from it for 15 days. The traffic jam was due to the Metrobus road construction.

According to certain experts the metrobus is an interim solution. A permanent solution can only be reached by building the rail system. Let’s say we have agreed to this interim solution. But why do they have to start the construction in the winter instead of summer? Everybody is complaining about the torture they feel crossing from each side to the other. Let me warn you that you will lose all the votes because of this Metrobus construction.

A friend told me. They were sitting in the lobby of a hotel in Cairo waiting for their bus. There was a couple of buses driving in front of the hotel. Then a bell boy came running in calling, "Total crones." My friend and his group started laughing. It turned out that both buses had come to pick them up. Their group had decided to call themselves "Total crones" (in Arabic, külliyen acuze). I asked my friend why they preferred to call themselves total crones or külliyen acuze? "Because we liked the sound of it," she replied. "Do you know the meaning?" I insisted. Apparently "acuze" is the female form of "aciz" which means disabled, helpless and old. "But we are neither disabled nor old. Otherwise how can we travel so often," she blurted. I started laughing helplessly.

I am sure the bus-load of Japanese women I had seen in İstanbul started calling themselves "külliyen acuze." I for one, decided to call myself "aciz" or helpless and disabled while crossing both Bosphorus bridges. Also I am getting to be an elderly person. So the term suits me very well. With one exception. I am not a female. But what about all those females waiting for me at home? Soon we will embrace each other as soon as we achieved to cross to the other side. If you tell me not to use the bridges then you yourselves don’t ask for votes.

The problem is to work together in solidarity to make this most beautiful city in the world more charming. But our first task should be to find a permanent solution to the traffic problem. To achieve it, all car and tire producers, security agents, the Governer’s Office, the municipalities, business people, public workers and the whole nation should get together and really do something.